The Day the Curtains Came Down
“Cultural competency in health care describes the ability of systems to provide care to patients with diverse values, beliefs and behaviors… to meet patients’ social, cultural and linguistic needs.”
– American Hospital Association
Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin were pioneering lesbians and helped build a safer world for the queer community. After Del passed, Phyllis’ Alzheimer’s combined with her ever present feistiness meant that her caregivers faced challenges in taking care of her, which unfolded in a soulful, hilarious, and profound story about queer end-of-life care.
We, the caregivers, entered her reality daily and helped shape it, just as Phyllis shaped ours. Although Phyllis lost so many of her memories, all of her caretakers knew the story of the day the curtains came down because Phyllis retold the same story again and again most evenings when they were going to bed and she’d see the window without the curtain.
In the earlier days of Phyllis and Del’s relationship, not only was being queer illegal, but so was dressing in male clothing if you were identified as female. Phyllis and Del helped found the first national Lesbian Rights organization, Daughters of Bilitis, and they had clandestine meetings in the living room of the house. Many lesbians attending wore “men’s” clothing and they had dances. Phyllis would always say that back then people couldn’t see women wearing men’s clothes or women dancing with women. For their safety they had to keep the curtains drawn. When the law was changed, and when society accepted queerness enough for them to feel safe, Phyllis and Del took down the curtains in the window.
Even with advanced Alzheimer’s, Phyllis held this monumental moment of their life inside her at the very end of her life. It’s a profound moment in herstory for them personally, and for all of us, as a culture.
“As I reflect on my relationship with Del and Phyllis, the most rewarding and important aspect was being a part of ensuring that Phyllis could stay in their home after Del’s death. The team of caregivers and supporters that made this possible are absolute and total angels to me. This film chronicles their commitment and their work, and it is inspiring and an embrace of every value we hold.”
Kate Kendell, former Executive Director for National Center for Lesbian Rights
Help keep an activist legacy alive through this film!
“I know Mom would want this story out there because they lived their whole lives out loud.”
Kendra Mon, Del and Phyllis’ daughter, and activist
Since film-maker Deb Svoboda first began gathering footage of Phyllis in 2019, the documentary has primarily been a labor of love. Over several years, Deb now has 4 Terabytes of footage (in other words, A LOT of footage). She still has a couple more scenes to film as well as a few more interviews to shoot. Then comes post production and some animation.
Deb needs to bring other queer creatives onboard to help produce and edit this powerful, rich story that tells the story of not only Phyllis Lyon near the end of her life, but of the importance of culturally competent care, which can be particularly hard for queer our elders, some of whom have to go back into the closet in assisted living facilities.
Phyllis Lyon & Del Martin paved the way for us, making the world a better place. Please be a part of keeping their legacy alive. Join us on the journey of honoring this beautiful stage of life and one of the trailblazers of our time.
The Day the Curtains Came Down 